The Poop on my All-Time Favorite Movies.

As a person who isn’t an avid movie connoisseur, I doubted I could find twenty movies to put on a list. I was wrong. I actually enjoy more movies than I thought I enjoyed. How wonderful for me! With that news, I decided to go ahead and make a top twenty list of my all-time favorite movies.

As with any list of this sort, it’s all but mandatory to include of list of honorable mentions. Not today, folks. What’s the point of having a top twenty list if you’re going to list twenty-five? You might as well make it a top twenty-five list (in which case you’d probably list thirty or so). The worst place for this is the sports section. They’ll print the “All-American football team.” But then there are so many honorable mentions, that they include the “All-American Second Team.” But there are still so many honorable mentions that they include an honorable mention list, which is usually longer than the All-American Team and the All-American Second Team put together. There will be no honorable mentions here. You want twenty; you get twenty!

But, hey--as movie character Marty DiBergi says--enough of my yakkin’. Whaddya say? Let’s boogie.

20. To Kill a Mockingbird: A delightful movie. Fittingly, the only black-and-white movie on my list is about race relations. The one striking thing about this movie is how little we’ve progressed since it was made. Look in the newspapers. You’ll see arguments that police officers pulling people over based solely on the color of their skin shouldn’t be banned. You could make this movie today and the only differences would be that blacks wouldn’t be limited to the balcony and the courtroom would be air-conditioned. That’s an improvement, but not by much.

To lighten the mood a little, let me quote a movie that missed the cut: Wayne’s World 2.
Honey: So, would you like to have dinner some night?
Garth: Oh, I like to have dinner every night.

19. On Golden Pond: Let’s be honest. I watch this movie for only one reason. I use it for an excuse to run around calling people “you old poop!” But it is a good movie. If you don’t like it, you’re an old poop. You old poop!

18. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery: This is a fun movie which places a 60’s private eye in the 1990’s. While it’s supposed to be interesting to watch the confusion of the generation gap, I find it nice that a person with such bad teeth can end up marrying a supermodel. How nice.

17. Fletch Lives: The sequel to Fletch. In this movie, Fletch inherits a toxic waste dump disguised as a southern plantation. Somehow, in his efforts to investigate the situation, he ends up posing as an exterminator, a civil war general, and a televangelist. And he still finds time to perform Disney’s Zip-a-dee-doo-dah. Fun!

16. Shawshank Redemption: No movie list is complete without a movie about a corrupt warden. Here it is!

15. Osmosis Jones: I found this movie to be very clever. While it seems like Bill Murray’s character could have showered at least once, there really is no comedic equivalent to exploding acne.

14. Fletch: Ah, yes. The prequel to its sequel. A master-of-disguises journalist goes undercover to bust a drug ring. Very 80’s. However, it is pretty funny, too.

13. Groundhog Day: Although there are some funny spots when Phil discovers he can use being trapped on Groundhog Day to his advantage. There are funnier moments when he discovers he can use being trapped on Groundhog Day to help others. All in all, this Bill Murray movie is probably a bit higher on the list than it merits. What do you say, Bill? What do you say? Say “thank you.” Say “thank you!”

12. Wayne’s World: This movie sucks. NOT! Party on!

11. Waiting for Guffman: Waiting for Guffman is the second of Christopher Guest’s trilogy of mockmentaries. This one pokes fun at community theatre. Fred Willard steals the show, if you will, in this one.

10. Aladdin: Sure, it’s an evil Disney movie with the same basic plots and themes. However, Robin Williams and the animators working with him are in top form in this movie. The songs are great, too. At least, the ones featuring Robin Williams are great.

9. The Princess Bride: The Princess Bride successfully takes a boring romance movie and creates a mediaeval action-comedy. The action in this movie is so wonderfully orchestrated that I don’t think the so-called “Christian Right” has figured out that it is violent movie about murderer. Bravo!

8. Best in Show: A Christopher Guest mockumentary about a dog show. Very funny! Eugene Levy battles Fred Willard for show-stealer honors.

7. The Return of Spinal Tap: Okay, okay, so this is technically a concert video. However, spliced into the concert footage are vignettes explaining what the Spinal Tap characters have been doing since the Marty DiBergi rockumentary.

6. The Three Amigos: Dusty Bottoms, Lucky Day, and Ned Nederlander are three movie stars who have trouble distinguishing real life from movies and are hired by a woman who can’t distinguish movies from real life. Mexico hasn’t been so much fun since the Monkee-mobile broke down south of the border.

5. Mary Poppins: Mary Poppins is conceited, a liar, and plays mind games. That aside, Dick Van Dyke’s antics and expressions make this a, dare I say, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious movie. Indubitably!

4. Roger and Me: A documentary (note: not mockumentary) about Flint, Michigan after a major downsizing. If you can watch this and still vote for people spewing trickle-down economics, for people who claim corporate America can regulate itself, for people who still claim what’s good for business is good for the people… Heck, if you can watch this and still vote for Republicans, you have no soul. But, on the bright side, that frees up your time for a delightful Sunday brunch. So you have that going for you. Save some cantaloupe for the rest of us, please.

3. Fiddler on the Roof: Fiddler is a story about tradition. This story demonstrates how some traditions are good, some traditions are bad, and some traditions are oppressive. In the end, we find out that, no matter what happens, you always have a little tradition following you. (Thank goodness my traditions don’t have fiddles.) Aside from that, Tevya can only be described as “a hoot.”

2. This is Spinal Tap!: The original mockumentary (unless, of course, some mockumentaries were made before it). Follow a fictional band as it goes on a fictional tour and real dwarves accidentally trod upon a fictional Stonehenge monument. Maybe this movie doesn’t belong at #2, but this one doesn’t go here, this one goes to eleven. (Sorry, international law mandates making a “this one goes to eleven” joke when talking about Spinal Tap.)

1. What about Bob?: As we all know, this is the feel-good movie of the century. Actually, it was the feel-good movie of the previous century. Whatever century, What about Bob? lands at number one on my list. Or did it baby step to number one?

That’s twenty. No more; no less; no quarterbacks who need to be on a list for resume purposes. Hope you enjoy them as much as I enjoy them.

As is so popular with any movie discussion, there’s trivia in this here list. There are at least eight movies on this list which include Chevy Chase, Brian Doyle-Murray, or Bill Murray. Not one of them is Caddyshack. I didn’t much care for Caddyshack, so it is not on my list even though it is supposed to be on my list.

So that’s my list. Hope you enjoy them. May I suggest a trip to the lobby for some delicious popcorn or some refreshing soft drink? Okay, okay, in honor of Caddyshack, may I suggest a Baby Ruth?

You old poop!

return to Commentary index

If you have any constructive thoughts on my commentary, let me know. If, for some reason, you'd like my opinion on a certain topic and want to suggest a commentary topic, let me know that, too. My e-mail address for such endeavors is mark@wentzmania.com.

© 2001, Mark Wentz