Fun with Spam

Maybe the same people who like the "food" Spam also like the electronic spam. It would make sense, but I doubt they do.

Spam is annoying and a waste of computer space and time. It's one step above telemarketing (to which there is no excuse and should be abolished by law). Sure, spam's intrusive and annoying, but at least you can choose when you're going to be abused. Some would argue that telemarketing doesn't use up e-mail space. I'd say invasion of privacy and peace trumps the disk space issue. In short, both are bad, but telemarketing is worse.

Plus, there is a silver lining to this spam cloud. Some are so arrogant it is funny.

Gangland Casino has a funny one. First, the name. Nothing like being straightforward about your casino's connection with gangs. "No, I don't frequent casinos. Oh wait! You have gang involvement. I'm there, dude!" But, the arrogantly funny thing about this spam was that it gave me a supposed remove me link (most "remove me" options are bogus) in which they would take me off the mailing list "for free!" For free? Dude, you should be paying me to have me on the list. You should not even be CONSIDERING charging me to have my name removed. Arrogant! But hilarious!

Daily-Freebies and Net-Freebies sent me a message saying they would subscribe me unless I rejected their offer by clicking on their "remove me" button. Near as I can tell, that button did not work. Of course, the ethical way would have been to SUBSCRIBE me if I hit a button. Of course, who's going to request spam? (Or Spam?) I guess, you have to use any trick you can when you have no discernible value to society.

Sometimes they try to trick you with treats. One offered me free Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. I'm always suspicious of web offers, but peanut butter cups? I don't know that my printer has an "edible goods" setting. That and my lack of trust helped me decide not to click on the free treats button. But I sure am hungry now.

I also like how they claim that our privacy is important to them. They put that in their disclaimer that I requested to be sent spam (already they're lying) and I should hit the (non-working, of course) "remove me" button if I would want to be removed from the mailing list. Truth just drips from these people. "Oh, I'm a good guy. I break into your home and annoy you every day, but, if you call me at this bogus number, I may stop!" With con-artists like these, who need pyramid scams?

I have a free Hotmail web e-mail account. In return for getting free e-mail, we agree to put up with ads on the web page. The theory is we'll click on the ads and buy merchandise. Few people do click on ads, though, because they know they're opening a can of worms (i.e. creating a path for more spam). Hotmail has in the agreement that the e-mail account holder cannot use the account to send spam. HOWEVER, I have received spam where the "to:" addresses are visible. The addresses around my name are very similar to my address. And there are dozens of names, making it more than just coincidence. With superior deduction skills, I figured out that Hotmail sold their list of accounts to spammers. So, while we can't send spam, they can sell our names to people who will send us spam. Sounds like someone has a spam policy for public relations purposes only. For shame, (but not surprising).

E-mail is yet another arena for people to demonstrate their total lack of ethics and for businesses to pretend to put the best interests of their customers first. Scoundrels took an advanced communication service and used it for bad instead of using it for its true purpose: sending Star Trek jokes to your geek friends. I hope their mothers ground them.

So, I don't like spam, even when they offer free Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Also, I don't like Spam.

At least, not until they make it from Reese's Peanut Butter Cups!

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The opinions expressed here are solely those of the writer and do not neccessarily reflect those of the rest of the family.

© 2002, Mark Wentz