The Who's Fooling Whom?





I assume you've all heard it by now. Obviously, this is something the "liberal media" is going to latch onto and drill into your head until you succumb to the scare tactic and do … I don't know … something. Whatever it is that the conservative media thinks the liberal media is trying to brainwash you into doing. You should do that.

Now!

Good job. Thank you.

Anyway, W had a quote regarding Iraq agreeing to weapons inspections.

"There's an old saying in Tennessee. I know it's in Texas. It's probably in Tennessee. 'Fool me once … shame on … shame on you. … Ahfumee we can't get fooled again.'"

I didn't realize The Who were from Tennessee. Or Texas. Maybe the "ahfumee" is the Tennessee/Texas part. Or maybe W was giving a "shout out" to NAACP president Kweisi Mfume in an attempt to find someone to support him. Whatever the case, that was quite a quote.

Actually, according to my brother-in-law and supoib fact-checker, Matt DeFoor, the The Who line is "we don't get fooled again." Or he could have been trying for the song title, which is "Won't Get Fooled Again." Ol' W is so befuddled, he can't even get rock song lyrics right! AND HE HAD TWO OPTIONS TO CHOOSE FROM!

In fairness, no one has ever accused George W. Bush of being "too smart." This gaffe clearly isn't his fault. It's the fault of his speechwriters. Every president has speechwriters. They write the speeches so that the president has time to do other things--like stand and speak.

They should have known that W has trouble with simple catch phrases. When speaking of Osama bin Laden, a grandstanding W stumbled through the old standby "Wanted: dead or alive." (Also a rock song -- by Bon Jovi.) Dude, that's only six syllables in four words. How could he not be able to handle that? It's 1 1/4 syllables per word. Maybe he just has trouble with fractions. I don't know.

Or maybe it is because W is trying to quote songs by artists with two-word seven-letter names. Perhaps he'd have better luck quoting an Israel Kamakawiwo`ole tune. He should probably stay away from anything by Ice Cube. Lord help him if he quotes anything (and I mean ANYTHING) written by Ron Eoff of The Band!

W supporters will complain that it is much ado about nothing. Everyone has a slip of the tongue once in a while. No doubt. I know I've been known to throw two words together and, for example, say "binks!" instead of "Bush stinks!" Everyone makes mistakes verbal mistakes. However, if you consistently make verbal mistakes it makes you a poor public speaker. Just like everyone trips sometimes. However, if you trip enough times, you're clumsy. Just like if you raise taxes enough times, it makes you a Democrat.

I think W may be so befuddled by the Republican Party's jargon strategery, that he can no longer speak straight.

It probably doesn't help that Republicans think that changing the word means changing the idea. For example, vouchers. Republicans are against vouchers. They are for subsidizing students going to private schools. What are vouchers? Vouchers are subsidies for students attending private schools. But Republicans are against "vouchers."

A year or so ago, the Republicans were patting themselves on the back for giving funds to "job creating machine." Seconds after saying that, the Republican speaking mentioned that they don't like to use the term "corporate subsidies" because it rubs some people the wrong way. Gee, I wonder why. Maybe it is because we don't need to take money from the people who need it and give it to the people who do not need it. (Oops…please take this opportunity to do whatever it is the liberal media is trying to brainwash you into doing. Again, thank you.) Anyway, Republicans do not like corporate subsidies.

The big thing now is that the Republicans don't like social security "Privatization." Republicans are for "giving younger Americans the option to invest a small portion of their own retirement money in order to save the entire social security system." What is privatization? Privatization is the allowing people to invest a portion of their social security. But Republicans are now against "Privatization."

And here I thought it was the Republican Party that typically hated being held to politically correct language? Who's the "PC thug" now?

It is no wonder W gets flustered when he speaks. Who knows what color the sky is in the Republican dictionary? W certainly doesn't. (But, whatever the color, he'd sure like to see if filled with a nukuler defense system.)

And you don't have to be of little intelligence to succumb to this. If you listen to Republicans long enough, you begin to wonder what the definition of "is" is.

Speaking of Bill Clinton, remember the big uproar about him letting donors sleep in the Lincoln bedroom? It was in a lot of the papers. Well, it turns out the Republican donors … or is that "contributors to Republican campaigns?" Anyway, people who have donated to Republicans are given sleepovers in the White House. Is this hypocrisy? Oh, no, says a White House spokesperson. Why? Because, in the Bush White House, contributors sleep in a variety of rooms. Oh, that makes things MUCH better. Some people "get it." Then, there's the W administration.

I don't know who will run against W in the 2004. However, I promise here and now that I will vote for whomever is brave enough to campaign with the slogan "Fool me once … shame on … shame on you. … Ahfumee we can't get fooled again."

And I assume even W can encourage us to "Rock the Vote."

Unless, of course, that line was written by Ron Wood.

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The opinions expressed here are solely those of the writer and do not neccessarily reflect those of the rest of the family.

mark@wentzmania.com.

© 2002, Mark Wentz