Being Green in Politics





This week, I attended a precinct caucus. I'm politically minded. I participate in general elections and referendums. I've written letters to the editor. I attend neighborhood meetings. Heck, I even do the neighborhood association's web page. But, as far as organized political affiliation goes, I'm a novice. I've never been to a caucus or convention before. I haven't voted in primary elections because it is my understanding that you have to choose a political party. Since the "Republicans R Stinkheads Party" doesn't exist, I don't belong to a political party.

In fact, my ballot philosophy has been that of god. You know the old saying, "kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out." Well, I've always let the political parties throw their entries onto the ballot and I sort out the riffraff. "All right, give me your little candidates. I'll let you know which one is acceptable." Unfortunately, I'm not very good as a god. Most of my candidates lose. I always seem pick the wrong ones. If it were the Pepsi challenge, I'd probably choose the laundry detergent.

I do love Election Day, though. This is the reason we're United States citizens. We believe we have the God-given right to say whom we want to lead us (and have the Supreme Court tell us we're wrong). I get in such a tizzy that I'd be surprised if I haven't forgotten to actually fill out the ballot once or twice. Grab it, throw it in the ballot box, and go! Woo-hoo! I'm an American! The biggest problem I have (other than the rest of the voters voting for the wrong person) is that everyone is so glum. They trudge in, stand in line, fill out the ballot, and trudge out. My goodness! I've seen more cheerful people at the laundromat! I think Election Day should be a party. Music! Balloons! Bunting! Snacks! Drinks! Games! It's Election Day! Last one out lock up and take the ballot box to City Hall! We'll recycle the empties tomorrow.

Anyway, I decided to attend a precinct caucus. The first decision is which caucus to attend. Like I said, there is no "Republicans R Stinkheads Party," so that's out. Oh, and the Republican party is out, too. It's doesn't take long to narrow it down to either the Democrats or the Green party. Right now, I'm more in line with the Green party, but the Democrats have more power. So, do I go with the Greens with whom I have more in common, or do I sneak into the Democrat's caucus and try to swipe the Republican handbook they seem to have been following for the last decade or so? Well, since the Green party is within walking distance (you really shouldn't DRIVE to a Green party event), I'll go there.

Turns out, I didn't walk. My wife dropped me off as she went to her spinning class. I assumed they'd both be in the same place. I was wrong. Turns out, this spinning had nothing to do with political propaganda. It was an exercise class at the Y and has something to do with stationary bicycles. So she dropped me off at the government center a half an hour before the caucus so she could get to her spinning class on time. I guess they need an extra 30 minutes to warm up the spin doctoring before the caucus starts. Oh wait! The two aren't related! I keep forgetting.

Most major political parties (Democrat and Republican) had precinct caucuses. Since the Green party is so small and this is the party's first caucus, they jumped straight to State Senate district caucuses in the hopes of getting more people to attend. Well, it worked. We had between 40 and 50 people in a room furnished for about 16. Since I was there early, I got a seat at the adults' table. Bonus! Actually, "adult's table" wasn't too far off. About 15 of the people were high school students there as a class assignment and they had to sit in the back row. But there were still plenty of people there who were there for the Green party fun.

Part of the fun was discussing Paul Wellstone. Paul Wellstone is a Democratic Senator from Minnesota who is, get this, a Democrat. Very rare in the Democratic Party these days. Most Democrats seem to follow all but a couple of the Republican Party platforms. Maybe that's why they're held in such high esteem that they couldn't beat George W. Bush. LAME!

The question with Wellstone is whether or not the Green Party should run a candidate against Wellstone and Republican Norm Coleman. The Greens sent Ralph Nader into the mix against Bush Inc. and Gore. That made sense because, while he isn't as bad as Bush Inc., Al Gore isn't good--at least from a Green Party standpoint. Wellstone, on the other hand, is spectacularly better than Coleman. It's not even worthy of a comparison. If I weren't so concerned about the Green Party's stance on soil conservation, I'd say Wellstone leaves Coleman in the dust.

The argument for running an opponent against Wellstone is two-fold. First, Wellstone's voting record isn't 100% Green (I guess we're assuming that a Green candidate's voting record would be 100% Green). Second, what's the point of having a party if you're not going to have candidates?

Well, we came to no specific conclusions on the Wellstone issue, but we did pass some resolutions and elect delegates to the state convention. Not bad for a first try. So, my first (and the Minnesota Green Party's first) caucus was a success and I learned a bit about the pre-election political process.

At least, that's how I'm spinning it. (No wonder I'm winded!)

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mark@wentzmania.com.

© 2002, Mark Wentz